31 May 2016
29 May 2016
On finishing a great book
I’m still in the grip of Babel Tower. I want to read another like it, but, at the same time shy away from anything as emotionally taxing. I remember the same feeling on finishing Anna Karenina. So I’m toying with the idea of reading Durrell’s Alexandra Quartet, for its rich, precise language, but tempted by Angela Carter – for the language and the very different landscape; wondering about rereading hectic Midnight’s Children; and at the same time mulling over Cormac McCarthy’s bleak spare text. I don’t want to be entertained, but immersed.
28 May 2016
On finishing Babel Tower **Spoiler alert**
The higher education of women has in many ways, I have observed, been very hard upon both men and women. It has encouraged skills and raised expectations which society as it is at present constituted is incapable of of fulfilling or satisfying - – skills and expectations perhaps incompatible with the fulfilled life of wife and mother. (pp. 518-19).
27 May 2016
Still Byatt
26 May 2016
25 May 2016
Still Byatt
Byatt’s writing appeals so much, in part, because it’s so precise. On occasion I come across unfamiliar words, for example, and there’s something very pleasurable in reaching for a dictionary – in needing to read for a dictionary in order to do more than check spellings – to find meanings or pronunciation for example. Babel Tower exercises in this way. It is also intriguing to read because of the many different styles of writing used. I envy the confidence of authors who do this.
23 May 2016
More Byatt
21 May 2016
Reading short stories
18 May 2016
A Wednesday
It’s teeming with rain. The garden smells wonderful - earthy yet fresh. The sky overcast but light. It's a beautiful and I want to be in it; outdoors, this day, has more allure than blue skies and hot sun.
And I also want to be indoors and at the desk. Much to do today - much reading of students' research chapters, and, because I like to do at least an hour a day on my own work, reading for my research. Today's work-for-me: a novel. Not taxing but still work - I have such a privileged lifestyle.
Later, I'll walk with dogs. Last night I walked for an hour at midnight. The roads quiet; pavements empty; and every so often, a cloud of scent from may, or laurels. An urban walk with the magic of the country.
14 May 2016
On strength and stillness
A thought recurs so frequently that I think I may need to explore it. It always comes up while practising yoga and it’s something to do with the various aspects of the self (my self – myself?) that I exercise during my yoga practice; aspects which I become aware of either at different points in the practice or on different days. It’s something to do with balance and balancing, with the strength that’s needed to balance (something we only seem to reacquaint ourselves with when unwell; when standing or sitting upright becomes too taxing and we admit defeat and go to bed). But it’s also to do with the confidence - self belief, really – needed for some poses. I know I can stand on my head, unsupported, but a hand injury prevented me from headstands, recently, and now I find I’m held back mostly by fear, despite knowing that the easiest way to balance ‘that way up’ is to ‘just do it’; and that the easiest way to maintain balance is to stop concentrating on balancing ... which, for me, is a state of mind requiring self-belief that itself is maintained by practice …
The yin/yang symbol suddenly has a little more significance - depth.
This morning, these ideas became involved with thoughts that have occurred when teaching. Not teaching yoga, but teaching English. Different students need different kinds of support. For some, the most pressing issue is confidence – and my work: to find ways to help them take the plunge – to step away from their notion of what they are ‘expected’ to do, and instead to follow up their own ideas when approaching a text; for others, the opposite is the case – encouraging them to look at others’ ideas to help them refine their own, to help them see that others merit acknowledgement for the work they have done, to help them see that one doesn’t need to start from scratch, but may build on others’ ideas, or follow another’s route into a text. At the bottom of all this the need to help students see that they aren’t entering a competition but a conversation – a dialogue. And that ultimately, it’s all journey, because there will always be some new aspect, perspective or priority to work on.
Which is how I feel about yoga. I can become stronger and I can focus on that; but I can also become, and so focus on becoming, more supple; and I can focus on what I am learning myself and on what others have said they have learnt about themselves; equally, I can focus on what I have learnt about a pose, or an element of a pose and on what others have learnt from, or noticed about that pose.
It’s all dialogue and no competition. And on some days I struggle to be strong enough to keep conversing; and on others, to be still enough to stop competing.
11 May 2016
9 May 2016
8 May 2016
Beware Windows upgrades!
7 May 2016
6 May 2016
Austen, Biography and biopics
5 May 2016
Austen, Unfinished works
An oddness!
Alaa al-Aswany, The Automobile Club of Egypt
Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive
So I thought it was just an OK book.
4 May 2016
Austen, Juvenilia
3 May 2016
Austen, Creative Responses
Warming up
Words form slowly, this morning. Oozing.
It’s tempting to sit back and let them form at their own pace,
but I need a flow.
2 May 2016
Austen, Persuasion
May Day + 1
The thought was: to start the day with some warm-up scribbling; but it’s 6.15 pm and I’ve just got here so to speak. Not that I’ve done nothing until now. I’ve been marking(markingmarking) in an attempt to clear the decks for a fortnight of student-free writing. I’m about 2/3 through the current batch of submissions, which because very small, I’ll finish tonight. No doubt tomorrow will begin with a deal of displacement activity as I settle back into my own work – much desk tidying, filing, and so forth. I’ll probably also map out a timetable of sorts. But as long as it’s all devoted to MY work I’ll feel a little less panic stricken than I do at the moment.
Weather has helped keep me at the desk today. It’s been bitterly cold all day: sometimes cold and sunny, sometimes cold and wet, but always cold. It’s cold and sunny, now, but a huge mass of rain cloud is slinking in from the east. The view from the front is weather past and present - blue sky and white fluffy clouds; from the back is weather future: much rain and, given the temperature drop, possibly snow. In MAY! One year, when I was an undergrad, I was as brown as a berry when I sat my exams, having spent most of May revising outside in the sun. So far this year I’ve spent a couple of afternoons in the garden, reading, wearing a sun hat and sun specs plus a scarf, heavy jacket and fingerless mittens...
Tomorrow I have to go to Edinburgh for a meeting; on Wednesday I have a meeting here. Then – oh then – nothing very much for a fortnight. Lovely! Lovelylovelylovely!!!
The university is quiet – well my building is anyway, no doubt the library and computer suites are brimming with revising students. Corridors are light, bright, quiet and completely empty. I always feel most like an academic at this time of year. Odd. You’d think that teaching would have that effect, but it doesn’t. I enjoy teaching enormously, but prefer being able to work to my own timetable ~~~
1 May 2016
Austen, Northanger Abbey
May Day
Perhaps more appropriately ‘mayday’. Not yet sure.
Dogs all snoozing so it’s quiet and unusually calm.
Weather? Unpleasant: cold, damp and disappointingly unseasonal – no gardening today despite plans to ‘tidy up’ outside.
Plan B? A vague notion in the direction of heaving the house out of the dysentery zone.
Aspirations: um …
Obligations? Too many to think about.
Deadlines? Ditto.


