On strength and stillness

A thought recurs so frequently that I think I may need to explore it.  It always comes up while practising yoga  and it’s something to do with the various aspects of the self (my self – myself?) that I exercise during my yoga practice; aspects which I become aware of either at different points in the practice or on different days. It’s something to do with balance and balancing, with the strength that’s needed to balance (something we only seem to reacquaint ourselves with when unwell; when standing or sitting upright becomes too taxing and we admit defeat and go to bed).  But it’s also to do with the confidence - self belief, really – needed for some poses. I know I can stand on my head, unsupported, but a hand injury prevented me from headstands, recently, and now I find I’m held back mostly by fear, despite knowing that the easiest way to balance ‘that way up’ is to ‘just do it’; and that the easiest way to maintain balance is to stop concentrating on balancing ... which, for me, is a state of mind requiring self-belief that itself is maintained by practice  …

The yin/yang symbol suddenly has a little more significance - depth.

This morning, these ideas became involved with thoughts that have occurred when teaching.   Not teaching yoga, but teaching English.  Different students need different kinds of support.  For some, the most pressing  issue is confidence – and my work: to find ways to help them take the plunge – to step away from their notion  of what they are ‘expected’ to do, and instead to follow up their own ideas when approaching a text; for others, the opposite is the case – encouraging them to look at others’  ideas to  help them refine their own, to help them see that others merit acknowledgement for the work they have done, to help them see that one doesn’t need to start from scratch, but  may build on others’ ideas, or follow another’s route into a text.  At the bottom of all this the need to help students see that they aren’t entering a competition but a conversation – a dialogue.  And that ultimately, it’s all journey, because there will always be some new aspect, perspective or priority to work on.

Which is how I feel about yoga.  I can become stronger and I can focus on that; but I can also become, and so focus on becoming, more supple; and I can focus on what I am learning myself and on what others have said they have learnt about themselves; equally, I can focus on what I have learnt about a pose, or an element of a pose and on what others have learnt from, or noticed about that pose. 

It’s all dialogue and no competition.  And on some days I struggle to be strong enough to keep conversing; and on others, to be still enough to stop competing.